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System Responsibility

So System Responsibility is a thing. Some people are under the mistaken impression that if one of their Alters does something wrong, that's okay because it was the Alter and not them who did it. And whilst it may be true that it wasn't them in control at the time, everyone in a D.I.D. System must take responsibilities for each others actions. If a Singlet (a person without multiple personalities) must take responsibility for their actions, so must people with multiple personalities. After all, despite each Alter being their own person, they are all part of the same mind and body. What affects one will affect all at some point.

I have discovered this the hard way, and it's not pleasant to have to take responsibility for something an Alter did. It's hard. It hurts. It can be awkward and embarrassing. But ultimately it is everyone's responsibility in the System to make sure you are all polite, fair, just, kind, loving and treat people the way you want to be treated. It may not feel fair to you, but it is what it is and there's no getting around it.

For example, if one of the Alters murders someone in cold blood and stated that it "Wasn't me, your Honour, it was my Alter", that will not hold up in court. It just won't. You may get some leeway on your sentence due to having a serious mental health issue, but you're still going to do the time. You (plural) do the crime, you (plural) do the time.

Recently a previously unknown Alter of my own suddenly Fronted for the first time without warning and immediately took a serious overdose and went to therapy where we fell unconscious after telling the therapist. I personally do not remember any of this. The action was solely done by this particular Alter. I had no control. However, I stepped up and took responsibility for my Alter's actions and wrote a formal letter of apology on his behalf to my therapist and I, with the help of my Protectors and Gatekeeper, did everything I could practically to prevent it from happening again. Did I want to take responsibility for something I didn't do? No, of course not! But the Alter is part of MY System and therefore, I am as much responsible for our actions as any of us are. And in time, the Alter in question will also take responsibility and apologise in person to our therapist. Because it's the right thing to do. And doing so will encourage better behaviour from the Alters in the long run.

A System won't start to function well together until they are willing to take responsibility for each others actions. And that requires good communication and a willingness to learn and grow. Sure, there will be difficult Alters who fight that, but overall those in the System who want to make it work must take control and teach the difficult Alters the right way to behave, even if it's tough and uncomfortable and unfair.

I realise this will be a bitter pill to swallow for some people, but I don't want to sugar-coat the harsh reality of living with D.I.D. and mollycoddle people. That won't do you any favours. Better to know up-front the truth about it so that you can begin working on areas that you feel may need some improvement. Yes, it will take time and patience and probably a lot of therapy, but equally yes, it is possible to do and will be rewarding. Don't give up hope. Even the hardest Persecutor will come around in time. Keep persevering. Keep believing. Keep moving forward. I believe in you!

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