Grounding Techniques

Would you believe this is the third time I’ve attempted to write and upload this post? They say three’s the charm, right? So let’s talk about grounding; what it is and why it’s important.

When a person dissociates or is suffering from derealisation or depersonalisation, they feel disconnected from themselves, their environment and reality. Grounding is a way of bringing a person back to the present in safe and creative ways. There are so many different types of grounding techniques, and it would take too long to list them all, so I’ll just mention a few of the main ones and you can always google others or even come up with your own techniques! Grounding is also a great way to relieve or even prevent anxiety and panic attacks brought on by flashbacks and triggers. Here is a list of types of techniques that you can try. Remember, don’t lose hope if some don’t work for you. Keep trying different ones until you find some that work. It might be helpful to have a pen and notebook with you when you try them so you can record how they worked or didn’t work. Don’t forget to mark the date, because if one doesn’t work one day, it might another day!

The 5 Senses

All grounding techniques use senses or cognitive/mental abilities. They’re designed to help you to focus on the ‘here and now’. The 5 senses we’ll talk about here are Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste and Touch. Try this:

· 5: Acknowledge FIVE things you see around you. ...

· 4: Acknowledge FOUR things you can touch around you. ...

· 3: Acknowledge THREE things you hear. ...

· 2: Acknowledge TWO things you can smell. ...

· 1: Acknowledge ONE thing you can taste.

It might help to have a small box (small enough to sit on your lap) with various objects that trigger your 5 senses. This can be your Self-Soothing go-to box for when you’re feeling dissociated or stressed. For example:

· Something textured that you can touch

· Some essential oil or perfume to smell

· Some extra strong mints to taste

· A bell or whistle to hear

· Something interesting like a shell, rock or a photo to see

· (Extra) Something that makes you happy

Shock Techniques

Sometimes you need something extra shocking to your senses to help ground you if you’re feeling particularly stressed or in danger of harming yourself. You might have tried the regular 5 senses techniques but found you’re still in a heightened state of Fight or Flight and need something more. Here are some ideas that are designed to cause a safe shock to your body for that instant relief:

· Hold ice-cubes in your hands (over the sink!) for as long as you can

· Take a cold shower

· Plunge your face or hands into a bucket of iced water

· Eat something very sour or spicy

· Eat a chili

· Wear a rubber band (loosely) around your wrist and ping it against your skin

Cognitive, Mental and Physical Grounding

Once you have managed to successfully bring yourself back to the present, it’s important to try to remain in the present. If whatever caused you to dissociate or become anxious is still around, you’ll need strategies to prevent a relapse. This is where using your brain power and physical body is great. It’s all about stretching your mental and physical muscles and becoming focused. Here are some ideas:

· Do a crossword puzzle

· Do a jigsaw puzzle

· Do a word search or Sudoku

· Learn a new skill

· Read a book

· Recite some poetry or read out loud from your favourite book

· Sing

· Listen to music

· Dance

· Go for a walk

· Paint or draw

· Exercise

· Do some baking/try out a new recipe

· Engage in conversation with someone

· Enjoy a cup of your favourite beverage

· Stroke a pet

The list goes on and on and what I’ve written here is by no means exhaustive. There are so many different grounding techniques and a quick Google search will reveal many different types. Find out what works for you. If you’re anything like me, it might take some time, but there will be something that works. So far I’ve only found 2 techniques that work for me, but I’m still looking and trying them. Don’t give up!

I’ll link some further resources below for you to check out. Leave me a comment and let me know what works for you! Happy grounding!

30 Grounding Techniques

Grounding Safety Box – Multiplicity and Me

6 Grounding Tools for Coping with Anxiety – The Entropy System

Guided Meditation for Grounding – The Entropy System

All About Depersonalization and Derealization Disorders – The CTAD Clinic

Integration vs Fusion

Trigger Warning: Mention of death (of an Alter)

This is a topic that has been on my mind for a while now. I speak to many Systems and see many other Systems discuss this in forums and I've noticed that a lot of people get the two mixed up. So I want to break it down into simple terms and clarify the difference between them.

Some Systems are terrified of the integration process because they are worried they will "lose" the Alters. The good news is that this isn't the case. Let's look at what Integration actually is and compare it to Fusion.

Integration is the first step towards healing. Integration is when the amnesic barriers between Alters that formed out of necessity in order to protect the person from the painful and harmful memories begins to break down. This is a good thing, but for obvious reasons can be quite scary too. Integration does not mean the Alters will disappear. It is the first and necessary step towards becoming a whole person, but it does not mean you have to be a whole person. If what you all most desire is Functional Multiplicity this is perfectly okay and acceptable and reasonable. If you want the amnesic barriers to come down between Alters but do not want to completely merge to form a single personality, that is entirely your choice.

Integration and Fusion are very closely linked within the D.I.D. terminology. They are very similar, but they have differences.

The dictionary defines the word integrate as two things combining to form a whole, and I believe that's where the confusion lies. But in the world of D.I.D. integration is more about those barriers that separate two Alters breaking down so that both Alters have shared memories and experiences, and that is very much like forming a "whole" but with differences.

When people talk about integration in a D.I.D. context, they usually are referring to Fusion.

Fusion is when two or more Alters merge into another Alter (or Host/Core) or merge together to form a new Alter. It's interesting to note that in order for Fusion to be successful, integration must first occur, however, Fusion does not have to happen for integration to occur. The Alters can remain as they are; separate identities.

It's interesting to note that Alters can re-split in stressful situations, so in essence, de-fuse. This has happened to us. It wasn't a pleasant experience, but we survived it, and although it takes some adjusting, or readjusting, it's not the end of the world and shouldn't be seen as a step backwards in your healing.

Jess from Multiplicity and Me explains integration and fusion really well in one of her videos, which I will link down below. It's well worth watching.

In our System, we have experienced both Fusion and Integration, and they have been very different. We have had the amnesic barriers between Alters break down, but the Alters remained as individuals. And we've had two Alters fuse together to form a new Alter. We've also had a large number of Alters fuse into our former Core personality. Lots of manoeuvring within the System on our journey towards healing. There is no right or wrong way for healing. It's a personal journey and yours alone.

I want to touch on the topic of death here. Some people are worried that an Alter has died or that a Persecutor wants to kill another Alter. This simply is not possible. Alters cannot die. Period. They can fuse or they can go dormant, but unless the body dies, the Alters cannot die. Sometimes when an Alter goes dormant or fuses, it can feel like they have died. But rest assured, they haven't. The only way an Alter can die is if the body dies. References:

integrate /ˈɪntɪɡreɪt/

verb verb: integrate; 3rd person present: integrates; past tense: integrated; past participle: integrated; gerund or present participle: integrating

combine (one thing) with another to form a whole. "transport planning should be integrated with energy policy"

• combine (two things) so that they form a whole. "the problem of integrating the two approaches"

• (of a thing) combine with another to form a whole. "the stone will blend with the environment and integrate into the landscape"

Integration vs Fusion

Integration vs Fusion - Multiplicity and Me

As always, thanks for reading :)

D.I.D. Myth vs Fact

There is a lot of misinformation about Dissociative Identity Disorder, and it's confusing for people who have it let alone those trying to understand it. It's not helped by Hollywood's portrayal of the disorder in popular movies like Split and Glass. This won't be a "criticise the films" post, but I would like to try to separate the myths from the fact to help you better understand what D.I.D. is and what it isn't. There are quite a lot of points I want to bring up, so this post will be a bit lengthy. Sorry about that, but I want to make sure everyone is properly educated on the topic.

So let's dive in...

MYTH: D.I.D. is a personality disorder

FACT: D.I.D. is actually a dissociative disorder

MYTH: D.I.D. isn't real.

FACT: D.I.D. was officially recognised as a real disorder in the 1980 release of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-III).

MYTH: D.I.D. is extremely rare.

FACT: Although the percentage of diagnosed people seems quite small (1-3%), in context of the world population of around 6 billion, that's quite a large number.

MYTH: D.I.D. is the same as Schizophrenia.

FACT: Schizophrenia is a psychotic illness. Symptoms include delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, disorganized thoughts, speech and movements and social withdrawal. It does not involve alternate personalities or dissociation. However, it is possible for a person to have both disorders, or for an Alter to have Schizophrenia.

MYTH: Dissociative Identity Disorder and Multiple/Split Personality Disorder are not the same thing.

FACT: They are the same disorder. The name was changed to Dissociative Identity Disorder from Multiple/Split Personality Disorder back in the early 90's to better reflect what it actually is.

MYTH: D.I.D. is hereditary.

FACT: D.I.D. is actually formed in early childhood as a direct result of trauma, abuse and/or neglect. It is not hereditary, although some co-morbidities can be genetic (ie: Depression, anxiety, eating disorders etc).

MYTH: D.I.D. is contageous.

FACT: It is not. It is a disorder, not a virus or bacteria.

MYTH: D.I.D. will be with you for life.

FACT: You can heal from it if you so desire.

MYTH: There are medications to help "fix" the disorder.

FACT: There are no known medications that will "fix" D.I.D, however there are medications to help with the symptoms of some co-morbidities (depression, anxiety, Bi-Polar etc).

MYTH: It's perfectly okay to self-diagnose.

FACT: Although you can self-diagnose, you should always seek professional diagnosis to make sure that your diagnosis is correct and thorough. A professional will also be able to rule out anything else, or diagnose co-morbidities and recommend appropriate treatments.

MYTH: Some Alters/Parts are evil and should be locked up.

FACT: There are no inherently "evil" Alters or Parts. An Alter is only capable of the same level of evil or wrongdoing as the Host/Core is. Many perceived "evil" Alters are actually just Alters who hold tremendous amounts of trauma memories and emotions and have unhealthy coping mechanisms. They are deserving of the same amount of love and care as anyone.

MYTH: People with D.I.D. are violent.

FACT: People with D.I.D. are no more or less violent than anyone else.

MYTH: I can get away with crime if it was my Alter and not me who did it.

FACT: D.I.D. does not stand up in a court of law. You are all responsible for your actions and if you or your Alters do the crime, you will do the time. Period. D.I.D. is never to be used as an excuse for crime or bad behaviour.

MYTH: Integration means I will lose all my Alters/Parts.

FACT: Integration is the first step towards healing and simply means the amnesic barriers between Alters is starting to come down. The Alters do not have to merge into one during integration, however in some cases, that's the most logical next step.

MYTH: Having D.I.D. means I cannot live a full, happy, productive life.

FACT: You absolutely can live a full, happy and productive life as a Multiple. It may take work and good communication within the System and years of therapy, but it is possible to achieve.

MYTH: In order to be fully healed I must integrate and fuse all my Parts.

FACT: No. As stated above, it is possible to live happily as a Multiple and be fully reconciled to the past traumas to a degree that they no longer cause distress.

MYTH: I have to tell everyone I have D.I.D.

FACT: No. No you don't. You tell whoever you feel most comfortable telling. It's no-one's business except those who you want to know.

MYTH: Alters are obvious and easy to notice.

FACT: Alters have learned, out of necessity, to "hide" and act just like the Host or Core. Most people would not even notice that an Alter was present.

MYTH: Alters are just different emotional states of the same person.

FACT: Alters can experience a wide variety of emotions independent from each other.

MYTH: People with Alters are "demon-possessed".

FACT: This is extremely damaging and incorrect. Alters are "Alternate States of Consciousness".

MYTH: People with D.I.D. are broken.

FACT: People with D.I.D. are not actually broken. They are survivors of the most heinous crimes committed against them as a child and have learned how to cope under those conditions. D.I.D. is a survival mechanism, and a very good one.

I'll stop here for now, but if I think of, or learn, any more, I'll update this post. I hope this gives you a better understanding of what D.I.D. is and isn't.

Resouces:

Personal Experience

Busting the myths about Dissociative Identity Disorder

Sane

YouTubers with great myth-busting videos and information:

The Entropy System

Multiplicity and Me

The CTAD Clinic